You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

 WE ARE ONE

We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wanker. We come from many lands (although a few too many   of us come from New Zealand), and although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like. We are One Nation but divided into many States.

First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians. Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand final day, and big horse races. Its capital is Melbourne,   whose chief marketing pitch is that "it's liveable". At least that's what they think.  The rest of us think it is too bloody cold and wet.

Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with  sugar, thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its capital Sydney has more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it. Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers that pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.

Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets   an     extra chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces. It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which   the Yanks can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.

South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders. SA is the state of innovation. Where else can you so effectively reuse country bank vaults and barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen). They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheel.

Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. It's  main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did, all the men would get erections on the bus on the way to work. WA was the   last state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the government and business.

The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback  plains, sheep stations the size of Europe, kangaroos, Jackaroos, emus, Uluru, and dusty kids with big smiles. It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminum content of anywhere too. Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to flyover it on our way to Bali.

And there's Queensland. While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of half arsed skeptics, it is worth noting that God probably made Queensland, as its beautiful one day and perfect the next.

Why he filled it with dickheads remains a mystery.

Oh yes and there's Canberra. The less said the better.

We, the citizens of Oz, are united by Highways, whose treacherous twists and turns kill more of us each year than murderers. We are united in our lust for international recognition, so desperate for praise we leap in joy when a rag tag gaggle of corrupt IOC officials tells us Sydney is better than Beijing. We are united by a democracy so flawed that a political party albeit a redneck gun toting one, can get a million votes and still not win one seat in Federal Parliament. Not that we're whingeing, we leave that to our Pommy immigrants.

We want to make "no worries mate" our national phrase, "she'll be right mate" our national attitude and "Waltzing Matilda" our national anthem (so what if it's about a sheep-stealing crim who commits suicide).

We love sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a sailing race and still tell us who's winning. And we're the best in the world at all the sports that count, like cricket, netball, rugby league and union, AFL, roo shooting, two up and horse racing. We also have the biggest rock, the tastiest  pies, and the worst dressed Olympians in the known universe. Only in Australia can a pizza delivery get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Australia do we have bank doors wide open, no security guards, or cameras but chain the pens to the desk.

We also shoot and eat the two animals that are on our National Crest!!!!

No other country has this distinction!

Stand proud Aussies - we shoot, we root, we vote. We are girt by sea and pissed by lunchtime.

Even though we might seem a racist, closed minded, sports obsessed little people, at least we feel better for it.

I am, you are, we are Australian!

 A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."

Suzanne was involved in a bad car accident. Both of the cars were totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them were hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, Suzanne said to the man from the other car, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" She continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she handed the bottle to the man, The man nodded his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle, then handed it back to Suzanne, but she gave it back to the man. The man asked, "Aren't you having any?" Suzanne replied, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."

“We only came to kick some ass…
Rock the f**kin house and  kick some ass”

Gotta love Jack Black

He is the funniest guy going around at the moment I reckon
’School of Rock was a little disappointing but better than Shallow Hal which was too scripted

I would love to see him cut loose on stage

Very funny!

Just ducked home for lunch – baked beans and cheese and bacon rolls actually, thanks for asking

Watched a few minutes of one of my favourite movies – The Commitments

Excellent soul music and very funny

Just saw the scene of their fist gig where Decko swings his mike stand around and electrocutes the bassist.
Laugh J

Anyway – back to work 

As unbelievable as it seems (to quote ELO from the movie Xanadu)

“I’m alive – and the world cries with me today”

or something like that

Yes despite 12 months of no posts I am now posting again to this blog

Why?

well first because I am bursting forth with information and opinions

 but mostly cause I worked out an easy way to do it

Seems you can post to your blog from your email client

It’s especially easy for me cause I use the program Newsgator to deliver RSS feeds into Outlook

Mostly so I can read about what’s happening with the NBA and my beloved Celtics!!

Anyway I should be able to post regularly now

Let’s see how we go

I’ll probably never do any ‘real’ work – hooray!